What is liberated sexuality?
What does it look like?
And especially: Feel like?
In this article I will share with you my insights and ponderings of exploring sexuality through my lense.
The many ways we can explore and express ourselves sexually...
Personally, I was curious about sexuality pretty much ever since I can think.
As I entered an age in which sex became more relevant, it became important to be sexually shameless and yeah, cool.
This led me into exploring a few weird and intense avenues from which I gained the realisation that talking about sex, showing my body in so-called sexy ways, engaging in funky experiences and telling the internet world very intimate experiences of mine is in itself not necessarily sexually liberated.
At least not for me and not anymore.
I see that it has been a part of my journey.
The importance of feeling safety within
Feeling myself and body today, I see that to some parts of me were actually not feeling safe and on board with my former behaviour. The deeper I go in the body-mind-soul-integration, the more this notion of my liberated self as a sexual being changes.
Nowadays I don’t think it is a testament of liberation and shamefreeness to talk about sex or having tons of it or doing it in all kinds of ways.
The question is HOW I do all this. In a dissociated way, unaware of unintegrated parts of myself or can I do it in a grounded and embodied way, aware of the different parts within my being?
I have seen that our human experience is so FULL of sexual shame, body shame and supression that hardly anyone of us got away and most of us are still carrying this. At least to some degree. As I meantioned in the previous article “Psychsomatic work – how and why can it work?”, this stuff is stored on cellular, DNA level and is therefore not simply removed by a couple of fun experiences, healing sessions and positive thinking. It takes continuous practice of embodying our divinity and nature, or naturality…
I dare to make the statement that the “very liberated” acting may just be a phase in which the pendulum swings strongly into the opposite direction. A compensatory behaviour of the previous suppressed experience but it is not quite a grounded experience. At least so is my personal experience.
I want to emphasize that I believe the sexual liberation journey is every person’s individual one.
While I feel more relaxed and safe and therefore also more grounded in myself and sexuality when I cover certain body parts in public and in front of people that make my body feel uneasy; for another woman the most liberating thing might be wearing no bra under a tight white shirt wherever she walks.
So - what does a liberated sexuality feel like?
I just wrote “feel like” because I find that first and foremost, it is a feeling to feel sexy and liberated.
So many of us nowadays conform – or try to – with a societal / cultural picture of beauty and sexiness but do not feel that way. Because this picture is devoid of uniqueness, of naturality, of soul, of depth and of feeling.
I experience my moments of liberation as deep relaxation coupled with groundedness. No wild hocus pocus. Just feeling myself as a part of this existence and of Mother Nature.
Nature, singing and dancing are places and activities through which I feel my naturalness and therefore a strong and tender sensitivity the most.
I feel myself as an animal – aware of herself (to some degree 😉 ) and with curiosity and wonder towards the world within and around herself.
Sexuality is my nature. For me, there is no need in distorting and contorting it in strange ways.
The greatest desire I have is to rest in the naturality of it.
To truly feel – beyond confining belief structures and quick lived movie images.
To feel myself and another deeply. Experiencing the miracle of life within the depths of my own being, in and with nature as well as in connection with another human being.
From my current point of experience and perspective, I believe the most important thing is that we check in with ourselves and by “ourselves” I mean all parts of ourselves.
Checking in, whether these parts all feel safe and on board with the experience. This may not always be easy and is one of the reasons why I adore psychosomatic work as a means to creating an increasingly clear and safe space within.
As this is a rather short article, there might be questions or curiosities left unsatisfied. I am open to receive your sincere and respectful messages if you wish further elaboration.
Thank you for your time and reading these words, I truly wish they further your journey of awareness, the realisiation of your and our wholeness and the deepening into real Love ♡