Following the relentless call of the inner (and outer) mystery


– a little story about the journey of putting oneself out there and feeling the relentless pull of following the call

I’ve been quiet on social over the past months.
Many realizations about the way I’d been doing things and many feelings about those realizations.
With them the call to do things a different way.

One phrase I keep saying when I tell people about my journey with online presence and business, is that I was pulling on that beautiful ineffable flower that is awakening and preparing itself to bloom.
But obviously, by pulling it, I was hurting this flower and even destroying it before it could even bloom.

Hence I have been quiet.

I am still feeling raw to share and write.

So I will do so in my own time.

Spending more time practicing, living and being what I had been overly preaching.
This is creating a new sense of dedication and surrender.
And something new is blossoming.

There have been relationships that blew up, ended, went on pause.
Thanks to some other trailblazers here in the realm of new Earth Creators I know that can be part of the path.
There are people who do not understand my ways.
There are people who prefer to judge instead of working on or looking at their own shit.

And of course I have judged people. Nowadays, I am practicing compassion and curiosity more than I have before. And if the wall is too high between me and another, I simply let it be and focus on me, my journey and the people and things that are actually nourishing.

I want to talk more TO each other instead of about each other.
I choose curiosity and understanding instead of judgment and criticism.

There is a great quote from Theodore Roosevelt that Bren├ę Brown made me aware of and helped me with. It goes like this:

“It is not the critic who counts, not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”

This has been ringing so true to me. There are people who have no clue what you are going through (generally and) when you are passionate about your journey, your experiences, your pains, your successes, your deep insights, your soul’s whisper and your yearning to share this in the world.

And doing weird shit on that path is part of the game. But weird is in the eye of the beholder. And “the master has failed more times than a beginner has even tried” (quote from Stephen McCranie).

That being said, I am closing the doors for critique from people who are not in the same arena.

I am grateful for each and everyone of you cheering me on and letting me know how my work and sharing is impacting you. Thank you

But I no longer give so much weight to people who are only consuming and judging what they are consuming while having their hearts closed and their connection to soul blocked by societal beliefs and constructs.

We are simply so much more than what we have been taught.

That being said – criticsim does hurt. No matter who it comes from. Of course it does. I am a very sensitive and emotional being and I strive to open my heart even more for this beautiful life. And with an open heart come great feelings. Painful as well as beautiful ones. The spectrum widens.

So this is (part of) me, my update and I thank you for reading 

If you want to stay up to date to my doings and stories, I recommend you sign up to my neslwetter which I don’t send crazy often 

Best, Katja

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