An excerpt from some re-emerged diary entries:

As I peel back the layers from my heart
dissolving into tears.
Dissolved
I ask into the peace and quiet:
“Is this the only goal? My emptiness & peace of mind?”
Isn’t this goal by itself a selfish one?
What about the hungry ones?
The other hurting ones?

My own peace comes and goes.
I am aware that the outer one comes best from within.
A weaving from inside to out and back inside.

Sobbing layers of disbelief for humanity & me.
To then experience what lies beneath
The ocean of tranquility and clarity.

Taking this peace into the world – in an actually associated & embodied way – I fall, I get up.
I stumble & crumble, I sob, I feel relief.
I go again and feel like giving up.
Sinking into despair
– only to find another layer of longing and intelligence.
True wisdom lies within these deep chambers of my body and heart.

I go I go, I cry and crumble.

But what actually crumbles is all that isn’t meant to stay.

#innerworld #healing #somaticexperiences